Sharing Faith in Marriage

I'm joining with a group of wonderful ladies in doing this Marriage Challenge over at Courtney's place. I find that one can never stop trying to create new life in marriages...especially when you hit the 23 year mark as we will next month!  If you look over at the side bar you will see some other great marriage challenges that you can try.  Its a new year...time for us all to try on some new attitudes!


This article was originally written for the Marriage Monday community on the topic of...Sharing our Faith in Marriage. If you would like to you can click on the link below to visit with the other MM ladies...lots of wisdom in this community!

When I pondered this, the first thing that came to mind is the many, many people who enter marriage in differing stages of spirituality. If anybody reading this can honestly say that you were on the same page...congratulations to you! You are one of the fortunate ones.

During our courting days I realised that my husband did not have the same level of spiritual growth that I had, but I wasn't a burning ember myself so his wanting to stand outside of an afternoon Mass with no singing and  me enjoying a two hour mass in my own parish didn't really phase me.

Early in our marriage, my faith blossomed and grew and I became passionate for Jesus Christ, while my husband's remained like an unwatered seed. My zeal was tempered by the needs of my young and growing family and I stopped attending prayer meetings and praise and worship sessions.   Some time later, my husband's faith bloomed and he was on fire for the Lord...I was in hibernation.

www.clipartheaven.com

I resented that he was able to grow in faith and had the freedom to attend meetings and serve in the Church and be part of a prayer group, when I had given it all up to put the family first. This really hurt our marriage for a while...it didn't help that his zeal blinded him to how much he was NOT giving at home. The children all felt upset that he was not there for them, but giving of himself  to perfect strangers and I became all worked up every time I realised that he had an obligation outside of our home. Church became a dirty word in our house.  In case you didn't know it, this is a spirit of  religion which causes people to be overzealous in their church activities while other aspects of their lives deteriorate.

One day, after a few years of this, we realised that we were supposed to be in a faith partnership, each one encouraging and helping the other along the road to heaven. I had felt left behind while he had forged ahead and this was not what God wanted at all.

I believe that each spouse has the responsibility to boost the faith of the other. We may not worship in the same way, or serve in the same way...our spiritual walks are very personal ones,  but we need to pray together and for each other.

 We need to be united in the core of our faith in order to pray for our family, for our needs and to break any spiritual strongholds by using spiritual warfare. My husband chooses to serve the Church in a tangible way...I like to be in the background. I'm not comfortable being in the public eye, so though we both may write a piece for our parish newsletter, I wouldn't put my name on mine but he is well-known for his articles.

As we all know, there are many ways in which marriage is tested and passed through the fire. It is faith that is the anchor in these times when life's stormy seas toss us about.  There have been times when I am the weak one and it is my husband who will be the one to encourage and bolster my sagging faith. At other times, he is the one floundering and it is I who can be the strong one.

In summary, though we may not walk the path in exactly the same way, by holding hands on our journey, we are stronger... by walking together and allowing God to be the center of our marriage, we have the key to a faith that will see us through.  Standing on my own, I'm vulnerable, but with my husband's support I have accountability and stability and when you have the Lord as the Head of your marriage...you have a whole lot more!  Ecclesiasticus 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" 

There are many in spiritually unequal marriages...your spouse either does not share your faith at all, or has so little of it that you despair that he will ever be the spiritual head of your home. If somebody reading this happens to be in this position...do not despair!  Keep praying for your spouse.  My mother prayed for my father for nearly forty years. His conversion came about shortly before he died of cancer...too late for them to enjoy it together but just in time for him!  If you need a little encouragement, please consider visiting Lynn and Dineen over at http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/. They are a wonderful duo of ladies in the same position and full of wisdom and encouragement for you.

Blessings to everyone until we meet next time!

Blind Faith, Obedience and Surrender - Lessons from Luke

Hello everyone!

Its been awhile and I meant to have this published last week when I wrote it. Life takes over...you know? I am yet to get back to some kind of order and my online time has been limited to my bible study. The Good Morning Girls have begun our study of the gospel of St Luke, with the theme of  "Living Like Jesus".

So, let me share what I've been learning. What stands out for me in this first chapter are the themes of blind faith, total obedience and surrender to God. This is something I need to keep on growing in...its not easy, is it? This surrendering to God and giving up control...this trusting in Him when life seems to press around you from all sides. Let's take a look at what the first chapter has revealed.

We see Luke, himself, choosing to believe what was handed down by the true eyewitnesses on events that occurred about 60 years before.  He sought after the truth so he could record the truth for others to believe. This, in itself, is a type of blind faith and brings to mind Jesus' words to Thomas in  John 20:29 "...blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe".

The most perfect example of this obedience, trust and faith, however, is Our Lady, Mary the mother of Jesus. A young girl who was too humble to believe she could be elevated in any way was addressed by an angel of God. She listened to Gabriel's message and she believed and immediately surrendered herself to God's will, wondering out loud how God would accomplish this in a virgin, but knowing in her heart that "nothing is impossible for God".

www.freechristimages.org

What a direct contrast to Zechariah, who was punished with muteness because he disbelieved the same Gabriel when he visited him to tell him that his wife would conceive in her old age. Zechariah not only disbelieved but he laughed! An angel of God appears to a 'priest' and he is incredulous! Poor Zechariah! He did not believe in the promises of God until they came to pass, but Mary did.

www.freechristimages.og

Mary is the role model of every Catholic woman who holds her up as the perfect example of womanhood. She was the first Christian and set a very high bar for the rest of us. She was wholly obedient to God, loving Him, serving Him, laying her life down for Him. Whatever came into her life, she had no Plan B...Plan A was always "do whatever He tells you".  These may have been her words to the servants at the wedding in Cana (John 2:5), but they are also her words to us.

In my quest to emulate her in perfect obedience to the will of God, I will sometimes be called to my own following in the footsteps of Jesus. Mary suffered alongside her son for our redemption. What courage must any mother possess to see her son suffer brutality, humiliation and death and yet she remained at the foot of  His cross.  I too may have to suffer, be humiliated or have to put to death the things in my nature that keep me separated from Him and His will.

I pray to humble and gentle like Mary...my wayward tongue often gets the better of me.

I pray to be able to love the Lord with all my heart and to put Him first above all things...this age we live in has so many things to pull at us and take our focus from Him and I sometimes succumb to these temptations.

I pray for the grace to surrender completely  and to trust in Him...my desire to be in control often makes this difficult.

I pray that I will be able to accept whatever He has for me, even a Cross...at times I shy away from situations with a fear of the unknown and willfully cling to my own decisions.

This is why I wish to emulate Mary, this humble, gentle yet strong and courageous woman who pondered things in her heart and chose to trust and be obedient.  May we ponder things in our own hearts, being open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

What does God want of us? What does He want us to do? What does he want to heal in us? Where in our lives is He asking us to obey or trust in Him? Where is He calling us to have courage and step out in faith?
We can only know these things if we open our hearts in honest and deep communication with God.

He speaks...may our ears be attuned to the sound of His voice.

Marriage Monday : Sharing Our Faith In Marriage

Hello Marriage Monday sisters! I wish you all a Happy New Year and all of God's blessings. I am late with this post but that old adage of "better late than never" is still as relevant today as it ever was.

So, our topic this time around...Sharing our Faith in Marriage.

When I pondered this, the first thing that came to mind is the many, many people who enter marriage in differing stages of spirituality. If anybody reading this can honestly say that you were on the same page...congratulations to you! You are one of the fortunate ones.

During our courting days I realised that my husband did not have the same level of spiritual growth that I had, but I wasn't a burning ember myself so his wanting to stand outside of an afternoon Mass with no singing and  me enjoying a two hour mass in my own parish didn't really phase me.

Early in our marriage, my faith blossomed and grew and I became passionate for Jesus Christ, while my husband's remained like an unwatered seed. My zeal was tempered by the needs of my young and growing family and I stopped attending prayer meetings and praise and worship sessions.   Some time later, my husband's faith bloomed and he was on fire for the Lord...I was in hibernation.

www.clipartheaven.com

I resented that he was able to grow in faith and had the freedom to attend meetings and serve in the Church and be part of a prayer group, when I had given it all up to put the family first. This really hurt our marriage for a while...it didn't help that his zeal blinded him to how much he was NOT giving at home. The children all felt upset that he was not there for them, but giving of himself  to perfect strangers and I became all worked up every time I realised that he had an obligation outside of our home. Church became a dirty word in our house.  In case you didn't know it, this is a spirit of  religion which causes people to be overzealous in their church activities while other aspects of their lives deteriorate.

One day, after a few years of this, we realised that we were supposed to be in a faith partnership, each one encouraging and helping the other along the road to heaven. I had felt left behind while he had forged ahead and this was not what God wanted at all.

I believe that each spouse has the responsibility to boost the faith of the other. We may not worship in the same way, or serve in the same way...our spiritual walks are very personal ones,  but we need to pray together and for each other.

 We need to be united in the core of our faith in order to pray for our family, for our needs and to break any spiritual strongholds by using spiritual warfare. My husband chooses to serve the Church in a tangible way...I like to be in the background. I'm not comfortable being in the public eye, so though we both may write a piece for our parish newsletter, I wouldn't put my name on mine but he is well-known for his articles.

As we all know, there are many ways in which marriage is tested and passed through the fire. It is faith that is the anchor in these times when life's stormy seas toss us about.  There have been times when I am the weak one and it is my husband who will be the one to encourage and bolster my sagging faith. At other times, he is the one floundering and it is I who can be the strong one.

In summary, though we may not walk the path in exactly the same way, by holding hands on our journey, we are stronger... by walking together and allowing God to be the center of our marriage, we have the key to a faith that will see us through.  Standing on my own, I'm vulnerable, but with my husband's support I have accountability and stability and when you have the Lord as the Head of your marriage...you have a whole lot more!  Ecclesiasticus 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" 

There are many in spiritually unequal marriages...your spouse either does not share your faith at all, or has so little of it that you despair that he will ever be the spiritual head of your home. If somebody reading this happens to be in this position...do not despair!  Keep praying for your spouse.  My mother prayed for my father for nearly forty years. His conversion came about shortly before he died of cancer...too late for them to enjoy it together but just in time for him!  If you need a little encouragement, please consider visiting Lynn and Dineen over at http://www.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com/. They are a wonderful duo of ladies in the same position and full of wisdom and encouragement for you.

Blessings to everyone until we meet next time!

Happy New Year to All!

Hello and Happy New Year to all of my friends out here in blogland! I have been on a long break...I know! When last I posted here I believe I mentioned that I would be heading to Florida for my daughter's graduation from university and its been quite a whirlwind few weeks for me...and it isn't going to slow down any time soon!

Remember, I mentioned doing a Bake Sale with my daughter? Here are some of the cookies we did. I was really proud of my daughter...she did an awesome job of decorating them. They also made some pretty unique Christmas presents which kept us really busy.

Last Sunday was the the 12th day of Christmas, the Feast of Epiphany, and so our decorations were not taken down until after that...in fact I'm still doing it a piece at  a time and our Christmas tree is still up! I'll be rounding up the family on Saturday to take care of this(not my favourite task).

My children went back to school on Monday and I've been taking this week to get my life/house back in order and try to make some plans for what my goals are for this new year. It is very hard to think when the house seems to be bursting at the seams with noise and bustling. Any order went out the window quite some time ago and, being the somewhat lover of order that I am, I am itching to get back to some level of non-chaos.

So, let me share a little of what I've been up to since last we met. We flew off to Florida for my daughter's graduation and hoped to get in a little R&R at the same time. My husband was as excited as a little child for this 'vacation'.  He and my employed daughter were the financiers of this trip and they wanted it to be the most wonderful experience for all of us.

Of course, things seldom go according to plan, but despite some hiccups and last minute stuff to do with my graduating daughter (like her shipping which was supposed to be organised weeks before!) we still managed to get in a day at Disney and a day at Universal Studios.

My daughter's graduation was beautiful...long (800 graduates) and you know I cried!  I have been forbidden by the lady herself from putting up pictures under threat of dire punishment (in fact I've been warned about using pics of anyone in this blog except for my youngest and, of course, myself) but I figure if its blurry or faces unseen it doesn't count (crossing my fingers, toes and all that they see it that way too!). Having said that,  I share with you a little of our adventures.

There she is, with her gold Honors stole and her red international one. How could a proud momma not want to share? Seeing that she's practically unrecognizable I hope she'll let this one pass!

Our days were hectic and fun-filled, exhausting but happy.  It was cold! Well, it was for a Caribbean girl like me, but the rest of the family enjoyed it and three of them walked around in shorts and didn't complain once. Me? Well, I had to endure the indignity of wearing a Mickey Mouse sweater because that's all I could get in Disney World. I felt a little vindicated when my daughter caved and bought gloves and scarves the next day.

Getting a piggyback ride (check out those cute ears!)

Being entertained by the Dr Seuss characters

Lil& Mom on Merry-go-round

Mom & Dad take a break!

Lil & her sisters on the Teacup Ride

 The girls had a wonderful time(so did the parents) and my youngest surprised me with her lack of fear on the roller coasters and rides she wanted to go on. She (and the other girls) obviously has the genes of some adventurous ancestor since neither my husband nor I are thrill seekers. You should have seen the size of the roller coaster my girls went on at Universal...the Hulk! Maybe some of you are familiar with it? It looked like a heart attack waiting to happen... to me!

Lil met the princesses...the highlight of her day. Of course, she had to use the bathroom while we were in a long line waiting and, while Daddy took my place, I had to hop over some cords to get her there ASAP, whereupon I promptly fell trying to cross over one. Don't worry...nothing got bruised or broken...much! If you were in line waiting that day...yep...I was THAT mom! When we left the park that evening, she said "This was the best day of my life!" How happy that made her dad and sister, who paid for this adventure. (and to her momma who suffered a bruised ego...at least it was worth it!)

Of course, there is so much more that we did, but you have better things to do I'm sure!

I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas with family and friends and the good Lord blesses you and yours with health, strength and happiness for this new year. I'll be back to regular blogging soon...I have missed this little spot of cyberspace and I'll be coming by to check out your blogs as I catch up with each of you. Until then...be blessed!